Burned Out and Busted: My Reflections on a Year Well Spent

Burned Out and Busted: My Reflections on a Year Well Spent

by | Apr 7, 2022 | Coaching, Motviation, Spirituality

           In just a few weeks, it will be a 1-year anniversary of making the decision to leave corporate life as a full-time employee. Around this time last year, I had just come off a 10-day vacation and I was trying to hang on to my mental and physical health with everything that I had in me. I was Burnt Out and Busted!

          I wanted to stay with the company that I was working for, but it became increasingly clear that I would not be able to find the balance that I was looking for at that company. I don’t blame the company, like many, they were not prepared to make the pivot to teleworking. They are now one of my best clients!

         They did better than a lot of the companies that my clients tell me about. We have all heard the global horror stories through the news. This company tried, but it still was not enough. Why? There were many reasons.

Let’s talk about 4 of them.

  1. AUTONOMY. I am an introvert and have always had an entrepreneurial spirit. My goal from the time I started working was to have my own company, have the freedom to work when and where I wanted to work, and contribute to society. The pandemic gave me the space, time, and opportunity to feel that autonomy in a really big way.  My weekends and evenings were spent doing things that I enjoyed versus commuting, grocery shopping, and/or doing housework. In the early mornings and evenings, I was able to read, practice yoga, journal, dream, and even heal my long-standing adrenal fatigue. My home repairs from the 2018 Cat 5 hurricane were completed and my home became mine again. My life became mine again. I had the opportunity to have a taste of the autonomy I craved since I was 14 years old, and it tasted sweet.
  2. MICROMANAGEMENT. On the heels of my craving for autonomy came micromanagement from my direct supervisor. She was having her own challenges personally, was over worked, and was a type A personality. Her life revolved around her position in the company. Unfortunately, this led to a lot of micromanagements of both me and my work when we began working remotely due to COVID. Everything I worked on was picked apart and reassembled as something that looked nothing like my work. This took a toll on my confidence as an employee and as a person. I am acutely aware of my intelligence in many areas and had finished my doctorate less than 6 months earlier. I felt a high level of mistrust, stupid, patronized, and undervalued. This was the opposite of the autonomy I was feeling on a personal level. Eventually, the micromanagement made me feel like a caged animal. I was angry. The last time I felt that way was when I could not leave a domestic violence situation many years earlier. The body keeps the score and mine was telling me to run fast and far. I was not sleeping, my face looked drawn and tired, and I was constantly navigating ways to stay out of the cross hairs. So much time and energy wasted.
  3. NO PROGRESSION, LESS BENEFITS, AND A LOT MORE WORK. As I attempted to problem solve, I networked across the organization for different roles and different opportunities that might be a good fit for me. I was 7 years into my tenure at this organization and did not want to leave. It was the longest tenure of my career. Unfortunately, there was not a place for me to go within my career path. I needed to find something that would be a good fit outside of my department. Nothing panned out for assorted reasons. The 401k match was cut in half and no raises were given during this time. This equated to a 5% cut in pay over the course of one year plus the loss of the compounded interest toward my retirement. Because of this, many people left the organization, and the organization did not back fill the position. Everyone’s workload became unmanageable including 12-hour workdays with 7am often being the first call of the day. Burn out came quickly and with a vengeance.
  4. LIFE EVENTS Life happens, right? Over a short period of time, I suffered several deep losses, including the death of my mother. I had survived and was recovering from the devastation of Category 5 Hurricane Michael that tore through our town in 2018. I was stretched to my limits, but I was healing. I had found a group of healers, yogis, and beautiful people that helped me find a community and helped me come back to myself. It is because of these people that I am a 200hr Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT200) and own a beautiful djembe drum. Then the pandemic shutdown the world. My community was there, but fear had taken over. I felt we were all scattered in the wind. The only remaining connection was through social media. The human connection was missing. I felt like I was losing myself again and quickly becoming a workaholic. I had to find a way to hold on to myself. The only decision that made any sense was to leave my corporate position, heal, and strike out on my own.

          So, as you can see, there were a lot of factors that contributed to my decision to become one of the individuals that took advantage of “The Great Resignation.”  I don’t regret it at all. I am so proud of myself for making this leap of faith and doubling down on myself.

It is the very first time that I ever put myself 100% first.

What have I done the past year?

  • Took the summer off and enjoyed the Forgotten Coast
  • Ran multiple yoga classes
  • Hosted a live radio show called Counterbalance Conversations
  • Spent time with friend and family without checking my phone
  • Took a 10-day vacation to North Carolina for my 50th birthday and fall colors
  • Certified 3 Reiki Master Teachers
  • Launched this new website
  • Guest hosted a podcast for a local non-profit
  • Took classes at the Panama City Center for the Arts – Basket weaving was my favorite!
  • Relaunched my Reiki and ThetaHealing practice
  • Gained many new Tarot clients
  • Meditated
  • Journaled
  • Brunched and Lunched
  • Designed and launched my 6- week Reclaiming Your Creativity class
  • Smiled … A LOT!
  • Practiced and taught the Law of Attraction
  • Coached a few people wanting to make the leap out of corporate
  • Established a financial plan to get out of debt and pay off my house in 1 year
  • Set up a Will and Trust and all estate documents
  • Got a tan
  • Played my singing bowls
  • Went to drum circles
  • Embraced my hippie side
  • Healed my adrenal fatigue and remnants of COVID.
  • Engaged with my inner child and inner creative daily
  • Met some AMAZING female authors (Hey Fab 5!)
  • Decided I wanted to write, do readings, and help people heal for a living
  • Found my authentic self
  • SMILE…A LOT MORE!

Ladies, I want this for you.

I would love to work with you and help you move into a life of ease.

  • Maybe you want to be a part of “The Great Resignation” and need a plan.
  • Maybe you are an empty nester and need to reconnect with who you are now.
  • Maybe you are just out of a marriage or long-term relationship and want to reinvent yourself.
  • Maybe you are just at a crossroad in your life and need help navigating.

This is your time to shine. Your time to rise. Your time to be first.

There are a lot of healers and coaches asking for your business and if one of them are a better fit for you, that is ok.

If you think I would be a good fit for you, go to my CONTACT PAGE AND DROP ME A NOTE.  I would love to book a 30 minute complementary conversation.

Let’s see what magic we can make happen in your life.

If you are interested in Reiki sessions or training, ThetaHealing sessions, or a Tarot reading, feel free to book time as well.

Don’t forget to connect with me on Facebook and Instagram: @CounterbalanceCoach

Let me know how things are going!

Much Love and Blessings,

Melissa

Begin Again: Resolution Reset

Begin Again: Resolution Reset

by | Jan 19, 2022 | Coaching, Goal Settting

We are roughly 2 weeks into 2022.  How are your resolutions coming along? Do you need a Resolution Reset?

Within the first 15 days of January, an average 39% of people abandon the resolutions made during the optimism of a fresh year, a new start, and a time of renewal and only 4% are successful after 6 months. According to the website Discover Happy Habits, some reasons for failure include unrealistic goals, no progress tracking, forgetting about the resolutions, and too many resolutions.  Also, where you live has a significant impact – 10% of urban dwellers kept resolutions versus 4% of rural residents.

If you are still going strong, BRAVO!  Great work! 

If you are struggling, got side-tracked by the day-to-day hustle, or have abandoned your promise to yourself, I have good news –you can begin again again.  Every day, hour, minute, or second is a fresh start.  It is difficult to make a change and to get in the right mindset to make that change stick on the first try.

Let’s look at how I help my clients by walking them through the resolution reset method.  These tips and techniques will help you set and keep new resolutions or reevaluate the original goals and begin again.

  1. Mindset

What is your mindset toward goal setting?  Do you frame your goals in a language that is negative such as “I have to…” or “I must…?”  If so, you might want to consider the benefits of the goal you have set.  Think of the outcome in a way that makes you excited versus the goal being a burden.  For example: I get to start my day with a short meditation and journaling.  Although I will have to get up a little earlier each day, I will have an opportunity to ease into my day with some self-care and capture all my creative ideas or negative thinking early in the day. 

  1. Have a realistic number of goals

We all want to accomplish many things during the year.  It is critical that you identify only 2-3 achievable goals at the beginning of the year.  If you quickly accomplish the goals, you can add more, but if you have too many, you will feel frustrated and like you have failed no matter how much you accomplish over the course of a year.  The key is to set realistic and achievable goals.  If you need help, work with a friend, family member, or hire a coach to help you set goals and remain accountable.

  1. Have realistic timing

Realistic timing of your goals is a very important part of the goal setting process.  When setting goals, think through all of the things you have to do to achieve those goals, make a checklist, and assign an amount of time to each one of the items on the checklist.  Tally up the number of days or weeks anticipated to achieve that goal and add at least 20% to the number of days, weeks, or months.  This will give you some buffer time and room for unexpected events and fun opportunities that come up during the year. 

  1. Have a strong “Why”

As individuals we are more motivated when we understand our why or our motivation to achieve a goal.  We have an internal or external touchpoint that reminds us why we are trying to achieve the goal.  For example: If you are going back to school, why are you doing it?  Are you hoping to give your kids a better lifestyle?  Are you looking to change careers?  Do you want your Mom to see you finally graduate with a degree?  Whatever your why, it must be strong enough to see you through the tough times when your motivation is lacking

  1. Have an accountability partner

Now that you have a great mindset, realistic goals, realistic timing, and a strong why, how are you going to keep track of your progress?  Are you partnering with someone close to you or a coach to help you stay on track?  How will you know if you are making progress to your goals?  You have heard the saying “inspect what you expect.”  If you expect to meet your goals in 2022, you must put something in place that will keep you accountable.  Some examples of accountability are a calendar tracking system, a wearable tech for tracking exercise, a call to a friend when you have accomplished key milestones, a reward system, hiring a coach, or joining a mastermind group.  All of these are effective ways of measuring your progress. Find what works for you.

  1. Get some ZZZs

Getting 7-8 hours of sleep per night is critical for proper body function and mental health.  Your body repairs itself and the mind processes all the events and problems of the day while you are sleeping.  Often, when you ‘sleep on it’ you find that the problem is easily solved the next day.

Rest and recovery are key elements of any goal plan.

Mindset, Consistency, and Measurement are the key to achieving your goals.  Notice that perfection is not on the list.  You are going to stumble, miss a few days, get sidetracked by life, and sometimes, simply feel unmotivated.  That is ok. You are human.  The trick is, get back up…begin again and again….and once more.

Until next time…. Be well.

Much love,

M.